Only 4 days out of my 75 days of SIP, I can already feel the stress. First task given to me and I'm already facing so much difficulty doing it. It's not that the company is giving me alot of work to do. In fact, I would rather be given more work which I am capable of doing than to lesser work which I AM CLUELESS AT. At least, with more work, I am able to do and do and do and the time passes so quickly. Don't even have time to be distracted. Whereas the other scenario, which is sadly what I'm facing now, I have to search for information, stare at the computer resulting in feeling stress.

I really want to discuss to my LO about this. I know he can't help and I know I am weak(MENTALLY ONLY) in considering to even quit my current SIP and wait for 4.1 to come. A waste of money and time, especially when there is 2 years of NS.

Didn't expect coding to my into my life. I was thinking sort of a edit pictures or even admin work type of job. CODING? COME ON DUN JOKE AROUND WITH ME

I was trying not to think about work after working hours but I just can't help it. Thinking of not fulfilling exepectations and not knowing how to do just makes me feel even more stress and depress than ever. I had never felt like this before. Not even 30 days before O lvls or 2 weeks left before any of my project submisson. This is by far the worst I ever felt.

Just had a small chit-chating session on msn. A group conversation. Some of them were in almost/same situation as me, while some were luckier (you know who you are). They told me to relax but I can't. I dunno why. This assignment just would not get out of my mind. Well, I thought I will be less stress by venting all my feelings into text here. BUT I GUESS IT FAILED. Shall sleep now. Feel tired everyday probably not used to the early working hours. Sleeping is my best hobby now. MIND IS FREE OF EVIL THOUGHTS

I realise I love you.. Dearest A.W.






















A.W = ADMIN WORK =D

Unscandalous - Gabby